December #s

Well we've done it. We are FINALLY in the single digits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are officially #9 on the boy list and #18 on the girl list. HOWEVER , I know that 2 families got referrals yesterday for infants which makes us unofficially 8 on the boy list and 17 on the girl list. While overall that only puts us one place closer to getting our child; the fact that it puts us into the single digits makes it a lot easier to handle. We have now been on the wait list for 7 months and are only 8 families away from having a family ourselves. That is pretty exciting stuff. Since it is my birthday, I'm not going to make this a long post, but I wanted to make sure to update everyone on us being in the single digits.

-amory

What we've been busy doing.

To say the least, it has been a crazy couple weeks. In the last 2 weeks we have had 2 back to back garage sales in 2 different cities 2 hours away from each other. It has been an exhausting, yet fruitful time. Luckily I have taken off the rest of the month for vacation so I will get a chance to rest.

I have a wonderful church family at the church I grew up in. Everyone knew that Bryan and I were going to have a garage this fall at home and instead of making us transport all of the donated items 2 hours away, they just decided to have their own garage sale for us. I first have to say a huge thank you to my grandmother who graciously let us have the garage sale at her house. This is a pretty big deal because she is a neat freak and the sale meant her garage was a mess for weeks. Thanks for being such a good sport Nanny!

I mentioned in my last post that I love the adoption stories we get to hear at these garage sales. I was not disappointed! There was one couple that said they had been considering adoption and that hearing our story encouraged them even more to adopt. How cool is that?!

The next weekend we had the garage sale at our house. We have an equally amazing church family here. Our lifegroup has been with us every step of the way of this adoption and this garage sale was no exception. I will say there is one couple, you know who you are, that went above and beyond. T went with Bryan with only a moments notice to help him pick up a couple couches and a 50 inch projection tv (umm...yeah these weigh like a couple hundred pounds). After T got home at 11pm his wife S came over and stayed until nearly 2am helping sort and price and then came the next morning to help with the actual sale. (There was also my faithful cousin S there for it all). The other amazing women of our lifegroup helped us set up and even baked goodies to sale.

By the end of it all we ended up making just over $1,500 from the 2 sales ($1,200 at one)!!!!! If you have been following us you know that last year we had our first garage sale to raise money for our adoption and were blown away by how God blessed the sale. We made $800 last year. We are in awe of God's goodness and provision. The money was enough to push us $300 over our goal. We now have enough to bring our child home. A BIG THANK YOU to EVERYONE who has sacrificed and given to make this happen. Every single one of you is a part of this adoption and helping there to be ONE LESS orphan in the world. You are all participating in pure religion by helping to defend the orphans (ja 1:27)

I know this is long, but wait, we're not done. On top of meeting our financial goal last week we also last Friday received our November #s update. I am THRILLED to tell you that we are now 22 on the girl wait list and 10 on the boy wait list. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better I came home Friday to my crib arriving!! We also had an encouraging Orphan Sunday. It is amazing how God has timed everything to happen at once. God is always showing us how He has ordained all of our days. His blessings are overwhelming at times.

The thing is, I am learning that very often when you are following God's will for your life and seeking after Him in a way that can cause other to be affected for good, the devil does NOT like it. Please pray that we would be protected from attacks by the enemy both spiritually and emotionally. Pray that we would be able to fully partake in the JOY of becoming parents and that joy would radiate from us in this time so that others will see. Pray that we will be prepared to boldly respond with a reason for our joy that is in us.

Boy #

Girl #

-amory

October #s...very late

We have had a busy October getting ready for 2 garage sales to raise money for our adoption. Many, many things have been missed and delayed during this time. I'm so sorry that our updated waitlist numbers are one of those things. So here it goes! We got an email on October 5th (heehee, like I said, this is late) that our official #s are 32 on the girl list and 21 on the boy list. We were excited about this because any movement is good and it has been SOOOO SLOW the past few months, but then a couple minutes later I get a second email. A family just accepted a referral and our new official #s are 31 on the girl list and 20 on the boy list!! How awesome is that! This is the most movement we've had in 4 months. We've been asking everyone to pray that the process in Ethiopia will speed up again so more children can have a safe place to be and a family to call their own. It is awesome to see God answer those prayers.
At least by me waiting, you won't have to wait long before I post our November updated #s. But until then, we have another garage sale coming up this Saturday. Our last 2 have been great successes and not only financially. My hope is always that we are able to enlighten people to the need for more families to open up their homes through adoption and to focus on pointing towards God working in our lives. With each sale it has been encouraging to hear the stories of other adopting families. It seems like everyperson we talk to at these sales has been touched in some way by adoption. I'm looking forward to hearing a whole new set of adoption stories! Oh...we also hope to sale a LOT of stuff to raise the last bit of $ needed.

-amory

September Numbers

We have now officially been on the waiting list for 4 months. We had hoped that we would be further down the wait list by this point, but the law changes in Ethiopia seem to really have slowed things down. Therefore our numbers this month haven't really moved much. We are 23 on the boy list and 39 on the girl list. I could write a very long email on my thoughts on what is going on and why things have slowed down but I'm not going to. All I am going to do is ask that everyone be praying for the process in Ethiopia to run smoother as they figure out how the law changes will work and that each child who needs a family will come home in God's perfect timing. My plans would be for that to happen sooner rather than later, but we know that God's timing is perfect. As Habbakuk says..."these plans I have for you will surely come...they will not be late by a single day." So we cling to that hope. Please pray for us to have peace in this difficult waiting period.

-amory

August Numbers

24

We received our August update today and we are officially #24 on the boy waiting list and #41 on the girl waiting list. We'll take any movement as progress. Our agency said that the referrals have slowed down over the last couple months due to some of the changes in the court process in Ethiopia. It is taking longer to do everything to get the children legally ready for placement. The courts also close in August and September, which obviously will slow things down a bit. We just have to keep patiently waiting knowing that God is preparing our child and that when our baby is ready for us we'll be matched.

People have been asking me if we have any updated numbers yet. Nope! Sorry but they haven't come out yet. However while looking at other adoption blogs to try and see if anyone had their new numbers, I came across some great posts that made me feel like I needed to write this.
I just finished reading "There is No Me Without You". The book talks about the orphan/AIDS epidimic in Ethiopia. While the book was really intersting and entertaining and sad, one fact really hit me hard. There are MILLIONS of orphans in just that one country who, through no fault of their own, are destitute. We in the West can not quite grasp what this really means, I think. There are children who are raising children because their parents have both died. A seven year old raising a 5 year old. How can this be? Of these millions of orphans, only thousands are adopted. What do you think happens to the rest of them? Could you imagine if something were to happen to you and your young child's only option for survival was to beg on the street? We can't fathom something like that ever actually happening here in suburban America, but that's life for millions of children across this globe. And I'm only adopting one! We did not go into this adoption having a real clue of what the orphan crisis is like. We decided to adopt because we just wanted desperately to be parents. While that is reason enough, my eyes have been opened. Adoption is definently not the solution, though every child adopted is a child that doesn't have to go through life on the streets.
What hit me today with the blogs I read is that I live a very comfortable life. I have a beautiful house, and cars, and a bunch of stuff that I really like, but could I give it up? Like this fellow adoption blogger says, would I be willing to scrimp and save and raise $30,000 to just help these children? We're doing this to bring home our child, but would we do it to help show hundreds or thousands more of them Christ? To show them our Hope? To pay for a school, lifesaving medicines or feed them? I'm being convicted today that I am a selfish sinner. I'm not saying that having nice things is bad. I feel like all we have is a blessing from God and we strive to glorify Him with what he has given us. The point is, isn't it all God's anyways. We can't take any of it with us when we go. Wether you believe in tithing, or giving your first fruits, or giving based on your convictions...are we really doing that? If just $30 a month can feed one of these orphans, can't I give that above what I already tithe? This is a fallen sin-scarred world we live in and we have been commanded to go and be salt and light. Am I doing that to my fullest extent with my offerings? A year ago I would have said yes. Now I think not. Check out this video from Piper. It's really good.

While the ball is in the air...

Let me start with a little story, a true story that means something to me, but might not mean much to those of you who do not play sports. When I was a freshman in high school we were playing a game against Desoto. We were playing without one of our best players who was playing with the JV. We were behind by two points with less than 30 seconds left. I took a three point shot, which missed the mark, but one of my teammates got the rebound. He threw it back outside to me at the three pont line, and I hoisted up another shot. I still remember that ball hanging in the air. I had done everything I could possibly do to win the game. Now, all I could do was watch and wait as the ball floated to its final destination point. During that moment, which lasted maybe a second, my mind must have raced through a hundred different things.

I know. I know. Get to the point. The point is that the ball is hanging in the air right now. We have completed every single piece of paperwork we could possibly complete. We have submitted forms and money, and forms and money, and, did I mention, forms and money. We have done everything we could possibly do to insure the outcome of the adoption process. Now all we can do is watch and wait.

Though, that is not entirely accurate. While the ball has been in the air, we have painted the nursery, received the bedding for the nursery, written a poem to go on the wall, taped out the exact location for the furniture, and saved money to purchase said furniture. Still, I find this is the hardest time for me because there is nothing I can do to speed up the process. It is a helpless feeling when all we can do is wait, but that, I suppose, is the point. God is teaching us patience and continuing to grow our faith exponentially.

You know, I guess I never finished that story about the Desoto game. Believe it or not, that ball did come down. It went right through the net. We won the game. The hard work had paid off, and we celebrated. I know some day soon we won't be waiting on this ball anymore. And even more exciting, I know the outcome because I know who God is: the sovereign Lord of the Universe. Then, we will truly celebrate, not just for our child, but for God's faithfulness to deliver our child.

Bryan

July Numbers

Well, we are a little late getting this out. Sorry. I just haven't had a chance to update the blog lately. So better late than never. We are now officially 26 on the boy wait list and 47 on the girl waitlist. I do think though that there has been a boy and 3 girls matched since then so that might put us at 25 and 44. By the way. If you're reading this and would like for us to be able financially get a little closer to bringing our baby home....please check out our coffee store (link to the right). $5 of every bag bought goes to support our adoption. Please tell your friends about it! Thanks for all of your prayers and support as we wait.

June Numbers

You've got it!! We have moved to number 29 on the boy waiting list and number 50 on the girl waiting list.

Psalm 29 says in vs 10 and 11, The Lord sits enthroned over the flood, the Lord is enthroned as King forever. He gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

A fitting Psalm. God has definitely blessed us with peace and given us strength as we wait. He sits on his throne forever so praise Him!!

God ordains

The rest of the story....
On the Friday before Mother's day I was asked to speak at a banquet about adoption. Now, we had hoped to be on the waiting list for a child a few weeks ago but forms had to be revised and we had to wait to get our homestudy back. It seemed like it was never going to happen. Bryan and I were starting to get a little frustrated as each day went by and we were still waiting to have those last couple documents sent in to complete our Dossier and get on the waiting list.
Psalm 139:16 says that all of our days were ordained and written in God's book before one of those days ever came to be. It could not be more clear that God ordained the day, and time, that we would be put on a waiting list.
I was asked to speak at a banquet on adoption the Friday before Mother's Day. As I was pulling into the driveway of the church, to speak about adoption, for Mother's Day, I get a call from our adoption coordinator. She called to tell me we were officially on the waiting list and tell me what number we were. Talk about timing. Doesn't God always get it perfect? He waited until Mother's Day weekend as I was pulling into the church to talk about adoption to give me the news that we were "paper pregnant"(as a friend calls it). What a special gift for me on Mother's Day to find out that I actually get to be a mother. Surely even an unbeliever could see that God's hand was on this news, as it has been on the entire adoption so far. I thank God for the sweet God sightings that reaffirm us and encourage us. I thank God that I am paper pregnant!! Now....is it going to be a boy or a girl?

55 and 38

I've never had a favorite number before, but today, I do. 38 is now my favorite number in the whole wide world. 38 is our place on the waiting list for our child. On Friday afternoon our Dossier was officially approved and we were placed on the waiting lists. Because we are open to adopting either a boy or girl,(whatever God wants us to have) we are on both the boy and girl waiting list. We are 38 on the boy waiting list and 55 on the girl waiting list. We are just sooo excited that we are FINALLY on the waiting list for a referral. That's all I have to say for now. I'll explain more about the process in a future post.

-amory

Our Homestudy is complete and approved!!

YEAH! Now it feels like we are getting somewhere. This isn't going to be a long blog. I just wanted to let everyone know that our homestudy is FINALLY complete and approved. Now we finish up the last couple things on our Dossier checklist and start our I-604A (immigration stuff).
On another, but related note. God has shown us time and time again that we are following His will for us. I know some people might have a problem with that statement, but I'm secure in saying. He has provided in a MIGHTY way both financially and spiritually. Here are some examples. I went to work after a day where people had said terrible things about us adopting and tried to convince us not to do it, to find that someone had brought a crib for us. On that same day we received an encouraging note with a check that was postmarked days before. After being told by the FBI that it would be six more weeks until we received our FBI background checks we asked all of our friends and family to pray for God to intervene and speed up the process. We received the background checks one week later. These are just a few of the many ways that God has encouraged us and reassured us. Why? Well there is a reason. I think that it is because God wants Christians to adopt. Adoption is at the center of Christianity. After all, all of us who believe do so because " In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Eph 1:5-6. Adoption is incredibly important to God. I think John Piper says it well in this clip.



-Amory

Please read the link below

Some of you know that we have faced some opposition to our adoption (I think most adopters do in some form or fashion). It's hard sometimes for me to wrap my thoughts around it and be able to talk or write about what's on my heart as to the importance of why we're adopting and how the world should view it instead of how they do. The following post is from a fellow Ethiopion adopting family and she's done a good job of voicing some of the things that are on my heart too. The opposition she is facing is not the same argument we get, but stems from the same place. Please take some time to read it.


It's Almost Naptime!!: I don't want my children to be happy

-amory

Changes a brewin'

I'm writing this post to let everyone know about some major changes to our adoption process. The first is that yesterday, when AGCI staff in Ethiopia went to court; as they normally do on behalf of the adopting parents to finalize the adoption; a notice was posted that the Ethiopian government is now requiring that all adopting parents make 2 trips to Ethiopia before bringing the child home, instead of the now required one, effective immediately. When will this second trip have to happen? Well we won't be certain of that until probably next week, but there are 2 options.
1) Currently power of attorney is given to the staff in Ethiopia to act on our behalf after a referral for a child has been accepted. This is so that they may prepare and sign the adoption contract that starts the court appointment process. We might have to travel here and sign the contract in person (would be within a few weeks of accepting the referral).
2) Currently the same power of attorney allows the AGCI staff in Ethiopia to appear before court on our behalf to have the adoption finalized. We might have to appear in person at court.
So what does this mean for us? It will be the added expense of a second trip to Ethiopia planned in a very short time frame. Double the airfare and hotel costs. It will also mean having to take off of work for this second trip which both Bryan and I will have to be present for. Due to these factors you will notice that the fundraising thermometer goal has been raised to reflect the additional cost. Please continue to pray that God will provide for this financial set back. This also could mean an additional 6-8 weeks added to the timeline.
Why is this happening? Our agency told us that in the recent past appx 41 adoptions were revoked by adopting parents (not through our agency, but through all agencies in Ethiopia). Now these were for various reasons such as; the age of child was found to be different when the adopting parents traveled to pick them up, the medical condition was different and so on. The important thing to remember here is that in Ethiopia, once a family accepts a referral, if they back out of it that child can not ever be adopted by anyone else. They will be in an orphanage the rest of their child life. Ethiopia has decided that this second trip to confirm seeing your child before they approve the adoption will solve the problem. It is to protect both the family and the child.
Now, this isn't all bad. What are the positives? Well, we get to see our child in person and hold them shortly after referral. We get a second opportunity to connect with the culture of Ethiopia. This will hopefully also make the trip home and transition into our family easier since the child will have had some previous contact with us.
Ok, that's the first major change, the second one is that the U.S. may now require a process called an orphan investigation for Ethiopian adoptions. This one is not as dramatic. It would probably only be required if there were gaps in information on the orphan that needed to be filled in. Our agency doesn't expect this to add much time to the process. It is a process currently in place for many other countries and runs pretty smoothly.
So, why is this happening? This is in response to a report that CBS News did on Ethiopian adoptions that made it look like many of them might be scams where families were recruited and paid for giving up their children. This, of course, is not AT ALL an accurate reflection on adoptions in Ethiopia. This also is a problem that seems to be contained to one specific orphanage and at the momement it seems that the U.S. is only requiring this additional process for that orphanage and the one and only agency that is being investigated for this. This is NOT a problem that our agency has, nor does our agency use that orphanage.
Well, that's the information I have at this time. Please pray that our adoption continues to run smoothly. Please pray specifically right now for delays happening with our FBI Background checks. Apparently they have some back log that is really slowing things down. Thank you all for your continued support. Thank God we know that He is sovereign and in control of everything, even when things seem to be going crazy.

-Amory

Slow and Steady

Let me start by saying that I am sorry that there have not been posts for a while. While it feels like nothing exciting is happening, I know that it is all exciting if it gets us closer to bringing our baby home. So, if you look at our timeline you will see that we are finishing up our homestudy. We've had 4 meetings with a social worker, which felt a more like going to the shrink than being checked out as prospective parents. The last couple months have been spent ordering documents such as birth certificates, marriage license, insurance policie and employment verifications. NOT a ton of fun, but must be done.
One neat thing we are getting to do is our adoption training. We've really enjoyed this and are learning so much from it. The training is designed to help us be prepared for any issues that may come up, such as bonding/attachment, medical, trans-racial family questions and talking about adoption with our child.
Our training that we went over tonight covered the importance of being open with the adopted child about them being adopted. This has been an area that I have felt pretty strongly about for a while and I'm so thankful that we are being forced to review it. One of the things talked about is how even just a 10-20 years ago adopting parents were told to not discuss the details of the adoption with the adopted child. It was thought that closed adoptions were best and files were closed to prevent the adopted child from trying to find out information about their adoption and birth families. The adoption world has since learned how destructive and harmful this process can be and has been to adoptive families. Families have been destroyed because of the bad advice they were given on how to handle their adoptions. I grieve for these families who had to go through this hurt when if adoption professionals had just told them what we know now they might have been spared.
The training talked about the importance of openess. Open adoptions (where some form of communication between birth/adoptive families is kept) are now encouraged. You're encouraged to tell your adopted children as much as you can about their birth families instead of keeping it secret. As Christians I find it interesting that we have had to turn to professionals to tell us what God has made clear through scripture for centuries.(2 Cor 4:2 by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.)
One of the most important things they recommend is a Lifebook. This is an adoption scrapbook in place of, or along with, a baby book. The idea is that you scrapbook and journal about the adoption process that you went through to bring home your child. You also include in here pictures and info of the birth family if possible. This part might be harder for us due to possible circumstances around our child being sent to an orphanage in Ethiopia, but we are hopeful to be able to have this information. They also recommend having the birth mother write a letter to the child that goes in the Lifebook. The idea is to have the Lifebook available so your adopted child can look through it as much as they want. The hope is that your child will grow up understanding the circumstances surrounding their adoption, and that it is a joyous event that so many people looked forward to. The hope is also to lessen the hard questions that could come later in life about the birth family because you have had years of telling the adopted child their story.
Our hope is to be able to have these things for our child. Our prayer is that we will be able to have the birth family information so our child will be able to have knowledge of their heritage, because ultimately we understand that our child will look different from us and understanding why that is will play an important role in our child's perception of himself. We are learning through this training, and life experiences, that it doesn't matter how much we love our child, whether they are the same color as us or not, that child will at some point wonder whose nose or ears or eyes s/he has, and that when the questions come we shouldn't feel like it's becuase we're not enough for our child or didn't love them enough, but just becuase it's human nature to be curious about such things. We want to be prepared at that time to respond in a way that's unifying and uplifting to both us and our child and glorifying to God. Now, in 15 years one of you reading this might have to remind me of the last couple sentences I just wrote, but hopefully these thoughts stick in my heart.
I promise you all that it will not be 2 months again before we write another post. Sorry again about that. Thanks for all of your continued support and prayers.

-amory