So Close

I thought that I would go ahead and post an update because I'm not sure how the next "official" monthly update will go.
It has been an interesting month for us and the other families waiting with us to adopt from Ethiopia through our agency. As you know, at the beginning of the month we found out that we had actually moved BACK a place on the waitlist. It was a difficult blow to feel like we had lost a couple months of progress on the wait. Yet, even still we know that God is ALWAYS faithful and His timing is perfect. We trust that God has ordained this moment for us and that in the wait He is constantly drawing us back to Him. I wish it didn't always have to take a difficult situation to make us cling to God. We've learned over the last couple years that God is our ONLY source of strength. God has used many things to show us that. At some moments it was because we (Bryan and I individually) really didn't have anyone else to turn to but God.
This crazy, emotional, God-dependant rollercoaster has become our comfort zone. It has been all we know for the last couple years. As strange as it might sound, it has been wonderful going through the hard times, being constantly pushed to our very limits, because it has forced us to go to God for everything. We've had no choice but to trust in God and put our faith in Him to...complete our family, provide financially, work on the hearts of the few that doubt us, allow us to just get out of bed some mornings. It's scary to be pushed out of your comfort zone. Will we be able to depend so completely on God when we have our child and things are going well? Will we have the same zeal for our faith when we have what we want, to be parents? While we are ready and excited for the next chapter of our lives, it's also kind of a scary thing.
This is all being said because right now we are unofficially #3 on the boy list and #7 on the girl list. We are so close to meeting our child. We are so close to our hopes and dreams being realized. We would both honestly say that there are many times, maybe most of the time, that it just didn't feel like this would ever happen. Like having our own child to love was just something too good that was unattainable for us. We know in our heads that's not true, but in the long...long wait it feels like that's all you'll ever do, wait. But now we are so close to not ever having to wait again to know our first child.

-amory